


nervousness

by peachtay



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Best Friends, Coming Out, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, fluff at the end, kageyama and iwaizumi perhaps smooch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28666116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachtay/pseuds/peachtay
Summary: iwaizumi comes out to his best friend oikawa when he's 18 years old, but he has to figure everything out first
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	nervousness

**Author's Note:**

> an expansion of a twt thread i did for hq sprouts week!! this time from iwaizumi's pov~

When Oikawa came out, he was 16.

Iwaizumi was actually the first person he told, followed by the team, then his family. He watched as his parents didn’t really know how to react at first, and surprisingly enough his dad was the first to fully accept it and his mom shortly after. Both of his parents had an inkling their son was gay, even if they struggled to come to terms with it at first. He watched as his sister welcomed him with open arms, even offered her home if their parents decided to be assholes. Oikawa told him that she always knew, from when he was young, maybe even before Oikawa realized himself. The team pretty much knew already, Matsukawa and Hanamaki even had a bet on when he’d come out, not even if. Iwaizumi had no idea.

He was so caught up in his own head because about time he’d met Oikawa in middle school, he had already started to question his own sexuality. He’d liked a few girls, even dated one already, he kissed her too, and he really liked her. But when they broke up and she started dating someone new a month later, he couldn’t tell if he was more jealous of her boyfriend or her. He was around Iwa’s height, a little skinnier than him, pale, and had the brightest smile. It was the first time he had really felt attracted to another guy and it sort of sent him spiraling for the next… well, forever. During middle school Hajime started to think that maybe he was gay, but he never stopped finding girls attractive. He felt confused and lost and gross and he hated it. Well, except for when he was with Tooru.

With Tooru he never felt any of that, he always felt free to be himself. He never mentioned liking guys, or girls for that matter, they always found a way to talk about everything and nothing at once. Hajime felt like he knew everything about his best friend, so when he came out to him, their knuckles brushing against each other on a late night walk home, he didn’t know how to feel. However, above all other feelings, he felt relief. He wasn’t alone anymore and he had his best friend to sort of relate to, even if he wasn’t out to him. Oikawa had mentioned something about going online and googling different stuff about sexuality and finding all kinds of things, too.

That night Iwaizumi didn’t get much sleep because he found so many articles and informational pages about bisexuality, and he felt even more relief that he wasn’t just a freak. It was a real thing and it was completely valid. They even had their own flag. A lot of people are bisexual, he remembers 16 year old Hajime thinking to himself. And suddenly, he was even less alone than he was a few hours ago when his best friend came out to him. He felt his heart swell when he read stories of accepting families and friends, but after reading so many stories about people coming out and how it could go left, and he vowed to protect Oikawa while he was doing this right now. Right now, it wasn’t the best time for Iwaizumi to come out. That would be weird, right? Yeah, no, he’d definitely wait.

Two years passed and Hajime never quite found the right time to come out. Well, not to Tooru. Somewhere between middle school and them standing next to each other right now, a few days after graduation and a few months before his best friend would go off to Brazil and him to California soon after, he’s never found the right time. Not last year after he came out to his parents who completely accepted him with open arms, which was unsurprising considering how they also offered to take Oikawa in if his parents gave him trouble back when he came out. Not a few months ago when he and Kageyama ended up kissing before Karasuno’s match against Shiratorizawa. He doesn’t even remember what happened, one second Kageyama was sort of admitting how he was thankful to Iwaizumi in junior high and then they were suddenly right in front of each other. He remembers how the genius setter was slightly shaking and his lips were a bit chapped, but how nice it felt to kiss him. When they parted, Kageyama’s face was flushed and he stuttered out an apology before promptly leaving. After a few moments of standing there stunned, it donned on him, holy shit, that was his first kiss with a guy. Hajime was so flustered, he had to sit outside for a while. He couldn’t tell Tooru he’d done that, absolutely not, not when he was still denying how much he actually sort of liked him. Despite the kiss, his heart still skipped a beat when came into the gym and saw how cute his setter looked in glasses. He was already pissy enough, there was no need to make him more upset by telling him his best friend and his rival just kissed in the bathroom.

Hajime knew though, he knew the real reason he couldn’t tell ‘Kawa was because he was scared. Terrified, even. As he’d grown older and even more information was available online, he could see the things people said about bisexual people. That they’re confused, greedy, whores, that they’d end up “picking a side” one day… and it made him upset, it made him insecure. People saying they wouldn’t date someone who was bi, and he knew that they were wrong. Despite not being completely out, he wasn’t ashamed of who he was like the scared little 13 year old boy he once was. There was absolutely nothing wrong with being bisexual and those people could fuck right off. Except, what if Oikawa felt this way? He knew better than that, obviously, his best friend is not the type to feel that way. With this decided, he thought that maybe he could come out to him soon, but then, completely unprovoked, an awful thought popped into his head.

_What if he doesn’t even like you?_

And the idea of this terrified Iwaizumi more than he cared to admit. Somewhere between junior high and now, he’d fallen so deeply in love with this dumbass. His dumbass. When iwaizumi comes out to him, he’d always planned to admit his feelings shortly after, but the idea that Oikawa would know that he was attracted to men and still not want him. For Tooru to not even consider him… how would he deal with that? He doesn’t think he could stomach it, so ever since this terrifying thought popped into Iwa’s head, his want to come out to his best friend damn near evaporated.

Not to mention, not coming out to Oikawa meant not coming out to any of his other friends and he hated feeling like he was hiding it. He felt like--

“Iwa-chan, are you listening to me?” Oikawa said, a confused and concerned look on his face. He had reached over and gently placed his hand on Hajime’s.. Suddenly he remembered that he was in the present, him and his best friend were laying next to each other on his bed, facing the ceiling. Tooru’s hand was so warm, so soft on top of his. Logically, he knew he had only placed his hand on top to grab his attention, but the secret romantic in him questioned why the hand stayed there. Even after Iwa made a small sound in confirmation, turning his head to look right at ‘Kawa, the hand was still there. The feeling that was stirring inside of him felt to be too much. Then it just clicked for him, the realization hitting him hard. In a few months he wouldn’t have this anymore, they’d be far away from each other and while it was only physically because he knows their bond will never waiver, this closeness will be gone. Iwaizumi is the one constantly reminding Oikawa of his strengths and how he shouldn’t focus on the negatives and yet, there he was, hypocritical as ever. His best friend would never judge him and he’d never leave him. No matter if Oikawa shared his feelings or not, he should at the very least come out. Hajime was the first person Oikawa trusted with this part of his life, despite not knowing what was going to happen and he deserves at least this. Maybe he would’ve liked to plan this out more, but he might as well say it.

“I’m bi.”

His best friend’s grip on his hand tightened instantly, without much warning and his eyes slightly widened. He wasn’t sure how he would react, but this felt unexpected. A few moments of silence passed, neither of them moving or taking their eyes off each other until Tooru finally had something to say in response, except Iwaizumi had one more thing to say first.

"And I'm in love with you," he added, his voice not wavering despite the intense blush on his tan face. It didn't matter if Tooru liked him back or not, he deserved to know and honestly he should've said this years ago, but it's not like he could even face his feelings it seemed until this very moment. He began to say as much, eyes finding the ceiling for just a moment until his best friend was pressing their lips together. Oikawa's hand on Iwaizumi's cheek, leaning them in nice and close. After a moment they both pulled away, slightly breathless and definitely blushing. However, like the magnets they always were, they ended up kissing through the many phone calls and texts Tooru's mother left on his phone asking if he was coming home for dinner. They only pulled away once Hajime's mother politely knocked on the door, asking if Tooru was staying for dinner, making both of them jump and giggle at the other's startled face. Once his mother turned away to set an extra plate at the table, Oikawa quickly texted his own mother back to let her know he was spending the night with Iwa-chan. 

"Trying to get in my pants already, Crappykawa?" he teased, wrapping his arms around his lover's waist and kissing his neck softly. The gesture made the taller one shiver slightly, giving the shorter one a heated look. This only made Hajime smirk, his lips attaching themselves to Tooru's once more and vowing not to separate them until they were parting ways at the end of the summer. 

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twt [@keigotakammi~](https://twitter.com/keigotakammi) & on [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/peachtay)


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